Scholars, philosophers, teachers, and laymen alike have been asking and pondering this question since at least 1982: What would Jesus do for the win? Would he snap his fingers and turn your controller into a loaf of bread rendering you defenseless while he's tea-bagging your rotting corpse? Perhaps he'd simply teleport into your base and promptly start shouting: 'In ur base, performing miracles!'

Official Jesus t-shirt from the gang at Explosm.net and their kick-ass comic: Cyanide & Happiness.

Official Jesus women's baby tee from the gang at Explosm.net and their kick-ass comic: Cyanide & Happiness.